Tour of St. Louis

I did the 3 stage Tour of St. Louis over the weekend. It went so-so.

Rule one. Don't eat sausage for breakfast, no matter how late the race starts.

The family and I went to the Crowne Plaza hotel for the weekend of racing. Everyone in my family is now sick, so that made things a little less fun for them. Anyway, we went to breakfast at the hotel and I made the mistake of having sausage with my omelet. Not so swift. Although the race didn't start until one, it still came back to haunt me. Literally!! After about 15 minutes of the crit, I felt awful and was having some foul burps. I was struggling to ride on the back, with my stomach in knots. I finally rid myself of said sausage, took another 15 minutes to use all of the water I had to clean up myself, my bike and get my wits about me and started to move up. At this point, there was a break of four up the road with almost a minute (they were gone) and a second break of 8 up the road at about 10-12 seconds. We chased pretty hard for the last 15 minutes of the race and I even made two efforts to bridge to the chasing break, but could not get there. As the clock ticked down, we were gaining, but it was slow going. In the end we caught the break during the field sprint and I ended up 8th. So-so, but good for someone who thought that they were going to quit 20 minutes earlier.

Rule 2. Don't TT up a mountain.

They had a 2.5 mile TT in the evening outside of St. Louis. It claimed a section of 24%. Basically, you start descending like a madman, get to the bottom and suffer like a dog on the way up. I hit the bottom of the incline and they were kind enough to write "big climb" on the road. Thanks, the trees way up at the top didn't give it away. Well, needless to say, I climb like a dump truck and made the mistake of taking a 23 cog, so we won't be discussing my victory here. In fact, in the 3's I only beat 1 person. At least I wasn't last. I should have figured out that I did not need to do this TT when 13 of the 58 guys from the morning showed up. HHMMM. In the end I lost 2 minutes to the guy who won the 3's. Did I mention that we only went 2.5 miles? 2 minutes! That is a sad, sad showing. This does not bode well for me considering doing Ed Soto. Hopefully, my James Bond jet pack will be here in time and the officials won't notice the turbine sound.

Rule 3. Don't come underneath me.

The crit on Sunday was much more my speed. Flat, tailwind sprint, some good corners and a big field to hide in. I stayed pretty low key during the race, trying to let the 3-4 big teams beat each other up. They were doing an excellent job attacking, covering, looking at each other and hitting it again, which made for a much better race than we get in Indy sometimes, at least from the willingness to take it to other riders and teams. They had announced that there would be 2 primes during the race, both cash for $25. The first prime, I ended up in a small group off of the front and in the run in, we got jumped by a guy who walked away with the prime. No luck there. As we hit the line, the official rang the bell immediately and we had back to back primes. I counter attacked the winner of the previous prime, kept the small group I was in rolling and jumped them out of the last corner. $25 in the bag. After that I laid low for the field sprint. With about 10 minutes left, I went to the top 10 just to play it safe. It was quite a bumpy ride with the speeding up and slowing down, constant surges and late attacks, but I was able to stay out of trouble. I was totally set for the sprint with two corners to go, double checking gears, closing the corner and focusing on the landmark that I had picked to jump from. With one corner to go, right as I enter the turn I felt someone underneath me. I closed the door and got a bit tangled for a split second. That was all it took. I went into the corner fifth, lost the draft and could not get back into it. I sprinted early from the corner, trying to get back on, but couldn't. The four ahead of me fought it out, I was two bike lengths behind and four ahead of the field. One small touch is the difference between first and fifth. Tough luck, but that is bike racing.

The slow kid on the island,

Enmark

Boom!

I thought that I knew what exploding was like. Guess not.

I talked to GI Fitz today and he sent me these pics from Army training. Fitz is a combat engineer. He gets to blow shit up.

Pic 1 is the boom. Pic 2 is Fitz and another soldier standing in the center of the the result.

That is a big frickin' hole.

Enmark

The Hammer & The Lightweight's

So about 15 minutes into Tuesday night worlds I find myself off of the front with Nate Long. This isn't a good thing. Nate was frickin' killing me. He was riding like a raped ape. For a while, I thought that we were chasing someone who owed him money, 'cause we were in some sort of hurry. I was taking turns, but it was getting ugly quick. I saw that Skip, Suzuki Shane & Brad were coming up, so I think to myself,"great help is on the way". Wrong!! They came up, went faster and kicked the crap out of me. They discarded me like Lance used to get rid of Ulrich, on Dragline hill. So I had the opportunity to ride by myself, ponder how I could suck so bad and wait for the group to catch me. In the end, it was a great thing. I know that I have a long way to go before I am decent.

Wednesday, there was a smaller group at the ride. I think that the threat of rain scarred 'em off. We went out pretty quick with the tailwind, then the Hammer put his stamp of authority on the group and pretty soon it was just he, Shane & I. Shane was pimpin' the sexy Lightweights, the Hammer was poundin' it and I was trying not to die. Hammer was pulling most of the time into the headwind. I could come through, but it was ugly and slower. Shane was coming through like a pimp, dragging that heavy Cervelo SL with him, all 13 pounds of it. They were kind enough to wait for me on Volkman hill, which was great because riding home into that headwind would have sucked alone. In the end, the Hammer killed me on the last climb of the day. I still have tears in my eyes thinking about it. I stayed on, but I had to turn myself inside out to do so. I think that Shane's light bike floated up behind the Hammer. Those two were killing it.

In the end I survived and I hope to put something together this weekend at the Tour of St. Louis. I am going to team up with the Hammer and the Original Doper. I am not sure after this week that I can be much help, but we will see.

The coolest part of the trip is that we are kickin'it at the Crowne Plaza hotel. I am looking forward to that.

Trying to live through the pain and constant butt whippin's,
Enmark

T-Rent update

As promised, T-Rent ripped it.

If you look at John Bennett's site with the pictures from the masters race, I think that Trent is off of the front in all of them. He was in every break but one, then when there was a dangerous solo flyer with a few laps to go, he goes to the front, gets zero help from anyone else and brings it back alone. I think he brought back a 12 second gap in one lap. To top it off, he was off the front with G-Unit the last two laps, getting caught with half a lap to go. He had on his pimp socks for a reason, cause he was pimpin'.

The best part was, because Mob didn't have to chase once T-Rent was off of the front I got a free ride to the end. When we caught him with half a lap to go, Mario came through to make sure the speed stayed high, then a leadout train started and we got the win. I don't think we could have scripted how to ride any better.

The Garland Update

The pimp, player and hater G-Man is coming back.

After getting to the end of the race in Lexington and running out of steam with a half lap to go, he came back to race at Ceraland on Sunday. There was some question as to the feasibility of this, based on the traffic issues Dave encountered after boobie bar hoping in Lexington, but we will save that for another post. He made it to the early start and kicked it. He was in the race the whole time, off the front with the T-Rent with 2 to go riding like the legend he is.

After the race he said that the bike spike is coming. A win is in the works!

The best comment of the day was made by him. He asked during the 3's race how the masters race ended up and when I told him that I won, he thought that I was screwing with him. He apparently thought that I was going to die with all of the hacking, coughing, etc. The look on his face was priceless.

T-Rent is going to rock it out.

The T-Rent is feeling the grove. I talked with him about the team ride on Sunday and he felt like he could tear it up. He (unlike myself) is over being sick and is back in the groove. Keep your fingers crossed 'cause I see some cash headed his way on Sunday.

Enmark

Sick of the weather and sick of being sick.

Well, I feel how Rich looks in this picture. I felt the sore throat coming on after I rode with the doper on Thursday and I never felt right that night. Then Friday I felt like hell, Saturday was worse, but I was holding out threating to race until I saw the weather report for freezing cold and possibly wet conditions. I elected to take a nap and try to get over this bug. Hopefully it leaves soon, because I feel like hell again today. The new goal for Ceraland is to just survive.

Enmark

Jingle Hammer'd

Tuesday night world's was tough. I was dumb enough to get in a small group with Suzuki Shane, Skip and the world's best Cat. 3, the Jingle Hammer. That fella can lay the hurt down. After nealy dying to stay on over Dragline hill, I suffered like a dog to make it to the end. The bad news is, the end for me was about a mile before the ride ended. The Hammer turned the screws and I couldn't take anymore and came off.

I suck.

Stuck on an island,

Enmark

Anderson

Well after getting excited about the Anderson Stage race, even going so far as to ride my TT bike, I can't get a response from the promoter. Multiple attempts to contact him have gone unanswered. It doesn't look like this race is going to happen.

What really sucks is this promoter is mad at Daly, so he is taking his ball and going home. Daly doesn't really promote bike races. He has TT's and goofy road races that no one can survive and end up being rides for one or two people. Now we have no races in Indiana to do.

Here I was thinking that there were going to be some quality crits to do. I need to go back to Ohio where they had bike races.

The Rich, The Wind & The Freakin' Cold

Last weekend Rich, aka the flying tomato, came down to the island for some training and family visiting. I had not gotten the chance to meet the boys, so that was great! We did some low key family time, some riding and general catching up. It was an awesome time. Living this far from Rich is tough.

He did bring his sexy new bike with him. It really kills it. That thing is the bomb! I really, really dig the SRAM stuff. It seemed to work pretty well and he didn't have too much trouble making it shift, so I don't believe the hype that it is hard to get used to. What made the trip totally worth it was the wheel noise advice that he gave me. My wheels are not creaking anymore! That man is a genious!

While he was here we had some beautiful weather and high temps. With that unseasonably warm weather comes a trade and that trade was wind. Lots of wind. That part made it tough for ridin'. We ended up fighting the wind, but not with the same success fighting it that the hammer displayed at Hillsboro, walking away for the win. That kid is a stud and a freak. I am not sure what order, but he is a pimp for sure.

The worst news is the ride last night. 37 F%#kin' degrees. Plus the wind stuck around, only now it is from the north. It was quite a shock riding in 65 degrees on Tuesday morning (at 7 am) and then getting hit with winter again. Wow!!!The doper and I did a ride before the group ride, then fought the wind with the group. It was better with more guys than he and I, although I still can't feel my hands after that damn ride.

With the recent cold snap, I know now why all of the pros ride in Mexifornia. It may be damn near communist there, but at least it is warm! Tell the Canadians to take back their winter air and leave us alone on the island. We liked the Mexifornian weather.

P.S. Ask the doper, Barker, about the note I left for him on his TT bike.

P.S.S. The UCI did match Barker's DNA to the bags marked C.M. (Chatty Matty) in Fuentes apartment. The story hasn't hit Velonews yet, but I am doing an interview with "Slow Masters Magazine" this afternoon to discuss his involvement and how his form is coming along. With the dosages in the bags of blood, they determined that he could probably knock out a 1:05 40K with his new TT bike.

BTW- Trent swears that he is going to cash this year. Ceraland is coming so check for his name in the results!

Enmark- The slow kid on an island.