What a turn of events!!!

I can't believe it. Fitz is going to get booted from the Army because he knows Erik "I only cheated once" Zabel. Well maybe not booted, but I am sure that the French will use this as a reason for them to not help in any NATO action for the next hundred years. With their normal path of logic, Fitz met Zabel, Zabel is a cheater, cheaters can't win, so Fitz must be a cheater if he posed for a photo, therefore we can't help a cheater in a military action in the future. At least it is something along those lines. By the time this photo gets out, they will use it to link Lance to Riis in some twisted fashion, via Joe Papp.

I found this pic in a file from the worlds in Hamilton. Fitz ran into the German team out on a training ride a few days before the Worlds. He couldn't believe how fast they were riding a day before the RR. Well now we know how. Wait, Zabel didn't cheat then, that was only in '96. Didn't he win his first green jersey in '96? But it wasn't because of the drugs, right?

Enough about drugs and cycling for today. I talked to the G-Man the other day and he was getting geared up for Ault Park. I think that it started last night, so as soon as I get the gory details, I will pass them on. He is riding better and promises the "Horner" bike spike before year end. I am really looking forward to witnessing that!!

One thing that is continually making me laugh is the incompatibility of G-Man and Whitlock trying to train together. Joe always manages to find Dave right after a race day, when he doesn't want to go hard. Joe starts hearing about racing, remembering the mystical '99 and then can't control himself and they end up driving each other nuts. Joe wants to go fast, G-Man is rolling getto low and slow and they can't seem to get a cohesive grove going. To hear both sides is hilarious. I expect fisticuffs by year end.

Other than that there is not much to report. There is extremely limited racing this year, since Goar took his ball and went home. He had me all jacked up for racing, then got scarred off by 48 TT's. TT's aren't real bike races anyway, so I am not sure how that was such a threat, but whatever. Hopefully, we can get some good old American crit racing back in the schedule for years to come.

The only other thing to post here today is that T-Rent is a homo. Don't shower with him.

From the island of E'ville,

The Enmark

Sad News

Well today is a sad report.

As much as I enjoy making fun of the doper, aka Barker, I have to remit for today. Sadly my new teammate and I will not get to race together for a while. He crashed at the Ed Soto Stage race and broke his bike and his collarbone. I briefly spoke to him on Sunday and he was driving home by himself. That had to hurt.

Anyway, he tells me that he will try to be back in action in a few weeks and is already plotting double secret training in the garage on the trainer, begining as soon as this Friday. Since he is going so well right now, this is pretty devastating for him.

It does make you wonder what kind of drugs Fuentes has him on if he wants to ride in the heat on his trainer in the garage by Friday?

Wish him luck and a speedy recovery if you get a chance.

From the island,

Enmark

So your saying there's a chance?

My research continues on the quest for the right sport. My latest interest seems to be cricket. I am sure that no one on the island of Evansville plays cricket, but I think that I can get a league going. I have checked the gear out and it is cheaper than replacing the SRM. I don't really know much about it, but it is a game with a large paddle that I assume you can hit people with, so it can't be all bad if there is potential blood shed.

The other interesting point is that the Cricket gloves look like they could come in extremely handing for cycling if I decide to bite the bullet and fix the SRM. They look like field sprint supreme gloves, maybe even perfect for the track and the kerin event.

Speaking of cycling, the doper is trying to get on Mob. He worships me and wants to be my bitch, so I think that with another week of begging I might relent and let him on. Wait, it isn't my team, so I don't really have any say. Oh well, he is still gonna be my bitch, plus he can hook us up with Fuentes. Well, I guess he can hook us up unless he gets implicated in the T-Mobile confessions or Joe Papp tells on him. Wait, he doesn't know Joe Papp, but neither does Floyd so it is still relevant and Joe can tell all about the dopers practices.

By the way, since I watched the tour last year on TV and all of the riders and team managers got kicked out or are at least going to be, I figure I am going to throw my hat in the ring as the '06 winner. That is right, I won the tour in '06 by default. Call the frogs, they will tell you. Wait, maybe not, I know Barker, who lives by a Menonite restaurant which makes me guilty of being on Floyds team. French logic hard at work.

From the island,

Enmark

Go Figure?

Well it looks like Softball is not going to work out. I started pricing a glove and bat. $349 for the bat and $249 for the glove. For those who do math like Trent, that is a lot, in fact more than the liars box replacement. On top of that, I have not even begun to research 1" metal spiked cleats yet.

After talking to the doper, he suggested that I look into a bowling league. I will do some further research on that. I am huge fan of the shirts, so it certainly has some appeal on that front. He likes the shoes, but I think that is because he is cheap and relishes the opportunity to dump off his beat up lawn mowing shoes for something free.

Coach Rich had mentioned selling all of his cycling gear for a gold shuffleboard stick. I mentioned curling and he was quick to point out that curling is on the ice in the cold and shuffleboard is generally played on a cruise ship surrounded by flapjacks. If there was ever any question about his coaching ability, I think that logic somes up his ability to provide stellar thought leadership.

I will continue my quest here on the island,

Enmark

$500

My season is officially done. I dropped my SRM on the ground and it is dead. Without the ability to record power, none of my rides really happen, including racing. I was so distraught over it yesterday that I went to hit a bucket of golf balls, just to be sure that I should stick with cycling before investing in a repair of the SRM. I didn't need anything to tell me that I suck at golf. I am horrible at golf, even more than I suck at cycling, so I am going to really give some thought to entering a softball league.

I sent it back to SRM and they don't work on mine anymore, so I have to find $500 to buy a power control 5. The pic above is what I can get with my $500 smackers. At first I thought that I was done with power, but I am starting to miss the little liars box. I guess I will wait to see if I come across some cash, but I really want to replace it.

I raced without it at Eagle Creek and I was lost the entire time. Actually, I felt like shit in both races that I did and faked a sprint for 3rd in the masters race. All that the liars box would have told me was that I suck, but the doper tells me that all the time, so maybe I should give him $500. My man D.A. won, so it was good that I did not let the team down and we won. The 3's race was weird and the field sprint was a crap shoot. This is something that I intend to avoid in my new softball league, that is crap shoots and field sprints. Hopefully the largest danger entails the lolly gag into the outfield. I really feel like I could contribute to a bunch of lolly gaggers.

On a more interesting note, I got to ride with the one they call Whitlock last week. It was a pure treat. If you think I suck, spend some time with him. I could contend for the Tour after riding with Joe. Just to demorialize his ego completely, I wanted to post it here that I dropped him on flat ground into the wind.

That is all for today. Hopefully I find some cash, recover from a week of training in Dayton for work and come up with something funny to write about.

The slow kid on the island of Evansville,

Enmark

Demon Crats

Just some weekend humor before the T-Rent rips it at Eagle Creek this weekend.

The demon crats have decided on a new war funding bill. Here are some of their ideas in practice.

Chatty Matty

Breaking news

Basso, aka Birillo, said that he was introduced to Fuentes by a "Chatty Matty". Authorities are begining the search for this new figure, but after Scarponi's recent admission, he believes that they are chasing a ghost. There is no way that they can catch the original doper.

Nickname

It has come to my attention that I need to add Dave Anderson to the cast list. I can't rightfully due that without an alias/nickname, so I am taking suggestions. Please comment below and we can compile the right "fit".

Enmark

Flooded & Flogged

Against my better judgment, I went to the Wednesday night ride. It was just spitting rain when I left. I hate riding in the rain, so it is an extreme stretch to get me to go. I was on my way to Barker's to ride out to the ride, when I realised that in my disdain for the weather I forgot my shoes, so I had to U it, go home, grab them and race back. When I got to the Dope House, the doper was gone. So, luckily for me, I drove to the ride. I say luckily, because about ten minutes after the ride started, it was pouring in buckets. Now I didn't have to ride all of the way to the Doper's place after the ride in the rain.

Apparently, riding in the rain like last night is a noble & character building experience. I think that it sucks and I hate it. Suzuki Shane even quoted Bill Murray in Caddyshack, reminding me that the heavy stuff isn't gonna come down for a while. This is during the time that it was flooding the road. While Shane is hilarious, that still qualified as a deluge.

Anyway, I sucked on the ride. I wasn't too motivated and kept coming off on the climbs. Near the end, the doper took some HGH and left me for dead in the water. Actually riding in without all of the road spray wasn't nearly as bad, but it still sucked. I guess the rule is that you are supposed to go harder in the rain. After Tuesday's night ride, I didn't have that kind of smack to throw down so I got some quality alone time. I am probably a month away from being decent again.

So to some up the evening, I got soaked, the roads were flooded and Barker, Shane & Brad flogged me and my new seat squeeks.

Lame.

Stay dry,

Enmark

No Green for the T-Rent

A couple of weeks ago I offered to donate an old green jersey from the C-Bus days to the MOB tempo night ride. It has cut sleeves and some miles on it, having been the intramural jersey before, but I thought that it should get back to it's intended purpose, helping motivate guys and driving some trash talk/competitive fire.

The ride leaders decided to make the sprints during the tempo night 5-3-1 for points. I told the T-Rent that I would get the jersey too him, if he could wear it. That means actually leading the points for a week. No go this week. 6 points.

Hopefully, he can avenge the loss next week and pick it up from me at Eagle Creek.

On second thought, maybe I should just give it to Scotty Hill. He will keep mopping the floor with the T-Rent anyway.

Hey T-Rent! Attack the crap out of them! Go get the right to wear the jersey.

You could look as good as Robbie Mac.

Enmark