The O.D. recently gave me a pair of bib shorts. He claimed that he didn't need them, they didn't fit him and I would probably be better off with them anyway. I did not think much of it at the time, but I appreciated them and never suspected anything. I had no reason to believe there was anything underhanded going on. Then I receive this email from Smooth as Silk:
Dave, I was reading the comment that the doper left about his article. Does the doped up shorts have a deer penis in the pad to give you a real high when riding? Why did you get a pair of these shorts? Is there something that you have been hiding from us?
Silk
I felt like my world was crumbling. I had crossed the line to the land of the doper. The two people who read this are going to think that I had moved into the realm of doping. I had to react, so I sent this reply:
I suspect that the shorts were either a gesture to make me complicit, therefore giving him someone to turn on in the event that he gets busted or simply an attempt to make me go faster to quit ruining his training rides by going so slow. I don’t think I received the deer version, because I was only mildly faster when I rode in them. You probably have to build up a tolerance through angelica root and turtle blood before you can go for the hardcore deer penis.
Seeing as how I took a power washer to the chamois, I may have offset any potential benefit prior to the ride. I have noticed that the spiders in my driveway, where I power washed said chamois are now one foot wide and two feet tall and my kids are riding them. I guess I shouldn’t have taken the
The Enmark
1 comment:
No worries man I already leaked to WADA about you as the "#1 king of the dopers in the Mid-West; He selling the Deer penis to all the dopers in the area." of course I did it under the name Steve Smith.
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