A Promotion!!!

With the cycling season winding to a close, most of us are left pondering what might have been, making plans to be next years new "Eddy Merckx/Lance Armstrong" or simply have become sick of cycling. With all that has, and is, going on in professional cycling right now, it is pretty easy to see how we could all get a little disenfranchised with it right now. I think that is why the doping community has tried to adopt a similar system the Catholic church.

I am not saying that the dopers will end up lusting after 5 year old boys, although they say the roid rage is weird, but I am saying that they have instituted a hierarchy to help them in their quest to take on the UCI and WADA, but more importantly, remain mainstream in cycling. Velonews covers are an important part of taking doping mainstream. According to Sockguy, Dr. Fuentes has been named "Pope of Dope". Regionally and locally, they are instituting players in the network, trying to take on "The Man". The original doper is being promoted to fight "The Man". We now must refer to the original doper as Cardinal Barker, head of the Category 3 diocese of doping & lunacy.

From the island of E'Ville,

The Enmark

Brad Huff Tour of Missouri Crash Remix 1.0

This is a crazy view of Brad Huff's crash at the Tour of MO. It is completely nuts.

Sunday Stroll

So I got out this morning for a nice fun leisurely ride. Suzuki Shane, KP Duty & the Hammer and I kicked around easy. I finally had those guys where I wanted them and was able to smack them around at will. They were lucky I didn't go all Doper on them.

It seems that KP Duty & SS did the E'ville club century on Thursday and again on Saturday. They were whining about being tired and sore, but after hearing how Jinglehammer laid the smack down in MO over the weekend, I told them to leave the hem on their skirts a little longer next time. Since they were both wasted from the weekends efforts, they had to put up with my being a smartass, but I will be re-payed eventually for sure.

At the RR in MO, it seems that Josh Carter got away in the RR with one other guy. Hammer takes off in Roscoe P. Coltrain pursuit with a Jelly Belly pro, who after chasing for a bit, decides that the smart thing to do would be to let the field come back to them, since they weren't gaining much time. Hammer went back to the field and promptly attacked them again. Alone. Now he did not have some Div III pro to distract him. Then he put his head down and rode across to the two leaders. Alone. Then he turned the screws and got rid of one of the front two. Unfortunately, it wasn't Josh "did I mention I can sprint" Carter, who got him in the end. Aside from bridging, alone in case you didn't catch that part, he is now one point shy of a Cat 1 upgrade. For those just tuning in, he was a Cat 5 in March. He is threatening to take up cyclocross now. Lord only knows the devastation he can lay out there.

I did invite him to go to the Hilly with us, so I am sure that we can derail his career in one weekend.

From the island of E'ville,

The Enmark

Transition to Tri-Geek

Now that I have had some time to reflect on the past season, I have decided to take up triathlons. I know, I have to run and swim, but I have found the perfect training program to help me make the transition. I have reached out to the swimming coach in the attached video, to begin my training. I should be off of the water wings by spring and possibly can go without the swim cap by fall.

Maybe I should just follow the lead in the video and look into getting Craig Watson and I into the Beijing games. Told you I could use this in the blog Craig!

From the island of E'ville,

The Enmark

The Value of Team Work

I have been working with Mario to help us take the MOB Squad to the next level in '08. Sure we won a few races, but with the doper being indicted in Puerto a week ago, we have to work on a plan B for next season.

I took it upon myself to hire Peyton Manning to help teach us the value of teamwork and how we can grow our organization to world champion status, just like the Indianapolis Colts. Take a look at the exciting video clip he sent me.

From the island of E'ville,

The Enmark

A Learning Experience

On the group ride Sunday, when we were coming into Yankeetown, we happened upon a vehicle that had crashed and was on it's roof, similar to the photo. The occupants were not there, but some passers by had stopped to check things out and notify authorities. The belongings of the occupants were scattered all over and the vehicle was done for sure.

Luckily for us, Terry was on the ride and turned the event into a learning experience for the group. By fleeing the scene of the accident, the driver has lessened the time his license would be suspended compared to receiving a D.U.I. The fleeing charge carries less of a suspension than a D.U.I. Now comes the tricky part. He has to sober up before the police get the vehicle plates and identification processed and tracks him down, or he will be guilty of both offenses if he is still intoxicated.

So here is the key take away of the story. If one is an idiot and decides to drive drunk, puts their vehicle on it's roof and lives through the ride, one has to make a decision on if they believe they can sober up before the cops get to them. I asked Terry if there was a specific equation to do the math on "cop time vs. blood alcohol content", but he said that once you ad in the "idiot factor", which is too long an equation to publish here, the other numbers are too skewed to be of consequence any longer. In essence, the bigger the dumb ass they are, the more likely they are going to get caught.

My question is why do these idiots live through the crashes? Unfortunately, these folks get a chance to live to try to kill one of us another day. It upsets me to think that I could be driving my girls around and have this dipshit go for crash number two after Friday night happy hour. What a douchebag.

From the island of E'ville,

The Enmark

Where the Doper got started

We all probably wonder where the doper fell off of the tracks. What makes good guys go bad?

Well I have done extensive research and found out that the "All Drug Olympics" were his driver. The thought that he could compete in an arena with no limitations, with no one holding back, motivated he and Dr. Fuentes to take his program to new heights. A hematocrit of 80 finally seemed like a realistic goal, the boundaries of EPO were endless.

Recently, I broke the news to him that the "All Drug Olympics" was an SNL skit and wasn't real. There was not an event, no Stars and Stripes jersey for him. Short of telling him that Santa and Superman aren't real, I could not have crushed his soul any more. After his first stage race win, with everything firing on all cylinders, he quit for the year, not sure if he has it in his heart to continue. Let's hope he can find the motivation to continue. Personally, I am even kicking around getting him some of those gay wrist bands that support drug free sport from Cycling News. Maybe if he believes it is a cultural change, he can find the will to move forward.

If you run into him, please don't break the news that Spiderman is animation in a film, I am not sure his heart can take it. He told me that he intended to climb the outside of the Vectren building all winter to work on core strength. I just didn't have the heart to tell him at the time. Once he hits the sidewalk a couple of times, he will figure it out on his own.

From the island of E'ville,

The Enmark

Lady's & Gentlemen, Mr. Whitlock

So if you know Whitlock, you might assume that he has some rage issues. He is a swell guy, until he throws the leg over the top tube and someone says go. Well, they don't even have to say go for that matter. Joe has a rare form of road rage that flares up when he is on two wheels.

Last year, he got into a heated discussion after this crash with the Team Dayton rider who fell down. Joe ended up with a broken collar bone or rib or something along those lines, I don't remember now. The good news is he has another name to add to the someday I'll get even list. He recently had to switch the printer to 11x17 sheets because the list would not fit on the 8.5 x 11 anymore.

Seeing this has me longing to hear some training with Joe stories from G-Man.

From the island of E'Ville,

The Enmark

Field Sprinters

Field Sprinters rule. There is nothing more exciting than a group fighting it out at mach 2 for a field finish. Today in the tour of Poland, they had a "mishap" in the final sprint and Ciolek hit the pavement, bringing a good portion of the front of the peloton with him. What a photo!

From the island of E'ville,

The Enmark

Lightweights

Suzuki Shane owns a sexy pair of Lightweight wheels. Since he is faster than most of us on the group ride, I figured they must be pretty good. I know that the wheels are not the only reason he can pummel most of us, but they gotta help. My problem is that is a ton of bling to throw down on a set of wheels, even if they will help you bitch slap Barker. But now that I know that they are PETA approved and will not harm dogs, folding in the event of an impact, I might have to get a set.

From the Island of E'Ville,

The Enmark (Lightweight and Dog Lover)

Our TT coach rippin' it!

the last word....

Exhibit A - a TT WITh the iPod, looking fast and happy, well all except for the kit...


and exhibit B - sweet kit, but no iPod, and not looking very fast...

thats the final word. Its all in the earbuds my man. Where was King Missle when you needd it??
what about some Social D?? even... perhaps... WU TANG!!!

Sorry for the post but i couldn't figure out how to place pics in the comments. you need more posts anyway. feel free to tear up my stuff.. you know i dig it.

Tour of Missouri

I am kicking around going to St. Louis to watch the last stage of the Tour of Missouri in St. Louis. It is a circuit race on the 16th of September (Sunday).

Check it out at: http://www.tourofmissouri.com/stages.

If anyone has any interest in going, email me at david.enmark@gmail.com

Sundialing

I rode a 40K TT this weekend.

For those of you have not ever done so, don't. For those of you that like them, find a different blog to read. They are lame. I am not sure how anyone can focus on hurting themselves for that long.

The good news is that the TT should lock up the Zipp Challenge in the Master's 3/4 category for me. You had to do one to qualify for the series (i.e. why I was there). Now for the bad news.

I went out of the gate pretty quick and caught my minute guy by the 10K mark. He was on a Cervelo speed demon machine with a Zipp disk and an 808 front, so he looked like he could rip it. He even had the cool Bell TT helmet. I passed him, then he would pass me back, then I would pass him and so on. It was getting annoying and then at the 25K mark, my minute guy passed me and quickly after, his minute guy passed he and I. We could have formed an impromptu team time trial, but what is the fun in drafting? Riiigggghhhhht.

Anyway, I suffered on, wishing I would have taken Rich's advice and started with an Ipod in, especially with all of the creaking my bike was doing. I would have loved to have something blocking out the heavy breathing and repetitive pops and clicks my rig was pounding out.

Note to self, if there is a next time, which I hope there isn't, take Ipod.

Anyway, I flatted with about a half mile to go and rode it in. I felt it going soft, so it was not a big deal and got me through the line and to the parking lot with no problems, so I can't blame that on my slowness. Based on the shadows and clicks of the sundial, we were able to determine that I beat an hour and now I should get a cool sub hour T-Shirt (reminiscent of the you went on vacation and all I got was this lousy T-Shirt fame) and more importantly, won the Zipp challenge.

Here are the key take aways from the weekend:

-As evidenced by the picture above, I am way too out of shape to be in contention in a 5 mile TT, let alone a 25 mile TT or bike racing for that matter

-Must take Ipod, regardless of race distance while riding alone

-I have to change a flat tire

-I am getting a new T-Shirt

(By the way, that pic is from the Indy Stage race where one of our juniors had to ask me to get off of the bike path because I was holding up some women walking with the jogging strollers, he rode up to tell me to move)

From the island of E'ville,

The Enmark