Skunk'd

On the Evansville club ride last night, we all reached a new milestone in our cycling careers. We were rolling along and came through a slight bend in the road to a few cars coming the other direction stopped in the road. As we got closer I heard someone yell "Skunk!!". It turns out, it was a family of skunks crossing the road. We were in no hurry to pass them once they started freaking out and looking like they were going to spray.

The two highlights of the adventure were Gary melting his tire as he white smoked the tread heading the other direction and Smooth as Silke complaining that "those damn things are supposed to be nocturnal" after we saw them. Even more hilarious was Silke explaining to Dave C that we got stopped by skunks and a train on the ride, but the train was too short because he barely got back on. I bet Dave still doesn't believe us.

Trying not to get sprayed on the island,

The Enmark

Chase'en it

My man Chase went over and did Winghaven with me last weekend. As I mentioned earlier, I got pummeled and he, unfortunately, did not make it too far through the first lap before the slick conditions put him on the pavement. This really sucks, because it really was a great course for his skill set. Hopefully, he is healed up enough to survive the Tour of Ohio next week. Above are some pics of him trying to get back and then catching a ride when his day was done. He had to have a plastic surgeon put his chin back together.

The worst part of the entire day at Winghaven was when a rider crashed in the final roundabout about 600 meters from the line right in front of me on the first lap. They decided to have a "King of the Mountains" competition sprint every lap and here I am sliding sideways trying to stay up when they launch the sprint for the first KOM. Nothing like kicking off a race with a sprint to catch a sprinting field. I got back on, but I burned some serious juice to get there. I guess it really didn't matter though, because there was no way that I was getting to the end of that race. I didn't need the liars box to tell me that I can't go fast enough. There is pic above of me starting to get the speed rolling again out of the roundabout and chasing back on. Man did that hurt.

That is it for now. Rumor has it that the T-Rent might break the tractor beam and launch himself out of the 317 area code. We will have to wait and see if he can pull it off.

From the island of E'Ville,

The Enmark

Mid Life Crisis

So I talked with the G-Man this morning. He picked up a new, in his words, "mid life crisis red" Madonne 5.2 Trek this weekend. It is stellar on the website. He has been kicking it hardcore lately, so this rig should get a chance to go fast soon. I am looking forward to checking it out.

Speaking of going fast, I apparently cannot. I got my tail whipped in St. Louis at the Tour de Winghaven. Nothing like the rude awakening of your true lack of ability. Man was that tough and I didn't race with the pros like the Hammer did. I guess maybe I should re-evaluate that softball league idea.

From the island of E'ville,

The Enmark

Ya know ladies....prom is coming up and I could take both of you.

After winning at Quad Cities, the Floyd testosterone project was flowing full force and Adam decided to scam on some chicks. Well done! Our junior's team is progressing nicely!!

Damn Shaving Cream

The Jinglehammer was decked out in the cream kit and feeling thick and rich Tuesday night at the training ride. That dude just slayed us. I got dropped before the horseshoe and I can't imagine how fast that son of a gun was going with the tailwind home, but judging by the look on Shane's face when I asked him about it, it sucked. Now that he is a 2, he is planning on showing us why. I have to say that I get it now, he's a frickin' motor.

On another note, Smooth as Silke mentioned that the doper could probably get some EPO with his recent injury to prevent his form from falling off too greatly. I thought that this is pure genius. Maybe if I take EPO and lay on the couch watching pros race, I can go faster. I might have to try that. I know that Gardner got a new TV and he is riding better, so I might call the UCI on him.

Great news for tonight's ride, the Hammer has to work! It might not suck as bad.

From the island of E'Ville,

The Enmark

From hero to zero, introducing Mr. 317

Well it is official. Enmark's View is the first to report on this. The T-Rent is no longer a pro power house like the above photo. No more Pimpin' for him. He has been stricken with a serious, almost fatal virus. He has a case of 317. That is right. He has the 317 virus. He can't race outside the tractor beam of I-465 and the 317 area code.

All I heard this spring was about the riding he was going to do, how he could not wait for racing to start, the impending thrashing he anticipated delivering, but now he has caught 317. I am not sure that his case is curable. We will have to wait and see. I have seen many talented men succumb to this dreaded, deadly disease and never do big races again.

They thought that the dude in Atlanta with TB had it bad, but this 317 thing is a known killer. Look for CNN to pick up reports.

Safely away from 317 on the island of E'Ville,

The Enmark

Who is more Macho?

Who is more macho; Johan in this kit or Don Ricardo?

10 pounds of beef in a 6 pound box?

The Plan is Coming Together

From my man Spencer in an email last week.

What a turn of events!!!

I can't believe it. Fitz is going to get booted from the Army because he knows Erik "I only cheated once" Zabel. Well maybe not booted, but I am sure that the French will use this as a reason for them to not help in any NATO action for the next hundred years. With their normal path of logic, Fitz met Zabel, Zabel is a cheater, cheaters can't win, so Fitz must be a cheater if he posed for a photo, therefore we can't help a cheater in a military action in the future. At least it is something along those lines. By the time this photo gets out, they will use it to link Lance to Riis in some twisted fashion, via Joe Papp.

I found this pic in a file from the worlds in Hamilton. Fitz ran into the German team out on a training ride a few days before the Worlds. He couldn't believe how fast they were riding a day before the RR. Well now we know how. Wait, Zabel didn't cheat then, that was only in '96. Didn't he win his first green jersey in '96? But it wasn't because of the drugs, right?

Enough about drugs and cycling for today. I talked to the G-Man the other day and he was getting geared up for Ault Park. I think that it started last night, so as soon as I get the gory details, I will pass them on. He is riding better and promises the "Horner" bike spike before year end. I am really looking forward to witnessing that!!

One thing that is continually making me laugh is the incompatibility of G-Man and Whitlock trying to train together. Joe always manages to find Dave right after a race day, when he doesn't want to go hard. Joe starts hearing about racing, remembering the mystical '99 and then can't control himself and they end up driving each other nuts. Joe wants to go fast, G-Man is rolling getto low and slow and they can't seem to get a cohesive grove going. To hear both sides is hilarious. I expect fisticuffs by year end.

Other than that there is not much to report. There is extremely limited racing this year, since Goar took his ball and went home. He had me all jacked up for racing, then got scarred off by 48 TT's. TT's aren't real bike races anyway, so I am not sure how that was such a threat, but whatever. Hopefully, we can get some good old American crit racing back in the schedule for years to come.

The only other thing to post here today is that T-Rent is a homo. Don't shower with him.

From the island of E'ville,

The Enmark

Sad News

Well today is a sad report.

As much as I enjoy making fun of the doper, aka Barker, I have to remit for today. Sadly my new teammate and I will not get to race together for a while. He crashed at the Ed Soto Stage race and broke his bike and his collarbone. I briefly spoke to him on Sunday and he was driving home by himself. That had to hurt.

Anyway, he tells me that he will try to be back in action in a few weeks and is already plotting double secret training in the garage on the trainer, begining as soon as this Friday. Since he is going so well right now, this is pretty devastating for him.

It does make you wonder what kind of drugs Fuentes has him on if he wants to ride in the heat on his trainer in the garage by Friday?

Wish him luck and a speedy recovery if you get a chance.

From the island,

Enmark